Stranger Danger in the 'burbs.

So I was riding the bus for shits and giggles. Not really. I had a purpose but once I completed my tasks for the day I decided to take a roundabout way home for sightseeing purposes. First, let me tell you about the ride to the mall. I took a direct route to the mall today and I kept running into attractive women on the way. When I got to 95th, I saw this very attractive young lady talking to what looked like a typical thug. Man, she is really attractive. Why would she talk to this...Whoa! Ok. I think I get the attraction once she opened her mouth to take a sip of her juice. It looked like she had been chewing a 2 inch dowel rod down to a 1/4 inch pointer. Hey, babygirl. You know you can get that fixed. No need to have low self esteem and settle for thugalicious here. Oh, well.

On the way back from the mall I decided to take the scenic route back. it wasn't a very long ride but I wasn't in any particular rush so I went to the back of the bus and turned on my MP3 player. There was this little girl bounding around in one seat ahead of me. As some parents do, her mother decided to let her have a sense of independence by letting her sit in the back of the bus. She was keeping an eye on her and thus kept an eye on me since I was in the near vicinity. There was a 3 seat buffer from anyone else sitting near the back. Hmmm. I'm in the suburbs, I'm near a nervous White mother's little girl. I'm Black. Not looking good, sir. It's looking a little lynchy in this piece. Wait. Fuck that shit. I can sit wherever I damn well please! I'm a former member of the Armed Forces of the United States of America, I'm an upstanding member of the community, THIS is the 21st century AND my President is Black! I have nothing to fear. Just as I confirm my convictions another guy of the African American persuasion decides to get on the bu and SIT RIGHT NEXT TO THE LITTLE GIRL! Dude. DUDE!! Of the 10 or so vacant seats on the bus, you wan to sit your big 300 pound, hotdog neck having, Malcolm X glasses wearing, dufflebag carrying, Vietnam Era fatigue possessing ASS right next to this little girl and in front of ME?!?! I can feel the mother's alert status change to DEFCON 1 (being the most severe) and my, I'm about to get beaten about the head, neck and shoulders with a police baton, alarm going off. I stare at the back of his neck with such intensity that I fried those hotdogs real nice. Even the little girl thought his sitting next to her seemed creepy and moved.

Anyway, I was so distracted my this shituation that I failed to notice the lady sitting next to me. This one was finer than frog hair but I was preoccupied. Had I noticed her while we were both on the bus I might have had a new girlfriend. Hey lady on t he back of the bus on route 381 going Eastbound, If you remember seeing me on the bus I will be at Jackson Park on August 2nd at 60th and Stoney Island Ave. Come by if you want a boyfriend!

When I got to the 79th street bus I noticed that the area seemed to have a migration of THOTs passing through. A couple of them boarded the bus and moved to the center of the bus. A seat opened up and they started to make a move towards the empty seats. An older guy took one of the seats after offering one to a lady that refused it. The THOTs looked at him with a slight look of disgust. I supposed they thought he would offer the seat to them but he didn't even acknowledge them. Silly THOTs, seats are for women.