So, I was about to board the bus and I was dressed in my bus ninja outfit. I get on the bus and scan my card. As I go to sit down the driver calls me back to the front. What do you want, lady? Apparently, she felt threatened by my half face mask and requested that I talk it off before I take my seat. WTF, Lady? I know she saw my paratransit riding permit. I know they know EXACTLY who I am and where I travel. I was the ONLY passenger on the bus AND I was outnumbered, two to one by her and the other driver that was busy chatting her up. This same lady had nerve enough to try to be cordial as I left the bus. Sorry, lady. I can't talk because I'm putting my mask back on.
Anyway, I get to the subway and I see this guy smoking by the tracks, right next to the No Smoking sign. To make it worse, he was singing to himself, as if he was mentally unstable, so no one had the stones to tell him the extinguish the cigarette. Where is a transit cop when you need one? I gave him the nastiest of side eye's but he just ignored me and continued to sing his crazyland song. You selfish bastard.
I walked to the opposite end of the platform to get away from the smoke and to get to the last car. Once the train pulls up, I board. There were open seats but none with a one seat buffer. Most people don't want to sit next to other people unless you know them and if it's two guys then they usually sit with a seat between them anyway. (It's a Guy Code thing but I'm not allowed to speak of it here.) I chose to stand for the trip. Suddenly, this guy comes to the car, saying, rather loudly, "DVD's $2, 3 for $5!" He kept saying it and clearly on one was interested. He kept trying to make eye contact with me. Dude. Go somewhere. Just because I'm essentially wearing the same outfit does not mean I'm in the same Union. Dude! In between yelling out his price list and trying to make eye contact, he was staring at this one young lady. Man, this dude is creeping ME out. Why are you all up in her business? In my mind I dubbed him "Creepy Dan, the Stalker Man." Then I realized why no one was willing to purchase his ill gotten loot. He had an embroidered picture of a knife on the front of his hat. Really, dude? I don't know about you but I don't think they handed those out at the DVD warehouse. Ok, Mr. Stabby McStabberton, you can leave now!
Once I get to the connecting bus I get to my seat and this giant ass hat decides to stand in the pathway of the rear exit. He has headphone's on and is rapping to himself, or at least I believe it was a rap. I'm not quite sure because the lyrics, and I'm paraphrasing here, involved sexual intercourse so rough that it threatened to dislodge the woman's vagina. The reason I assume that it was a song was because he kept repeating the lyric as if it was the chorus. It's probably his Grandmother's favorite song. We get to the viaduct and there was an accident. Someone decided to challenge the pylon and lost. Instead of everyone offering some sort of prayer for the well being of the driver, they were cussing out the bus driver for stopping. Come on, people, You guys act as though she staged the accident just to make you late.
