So I was riding on the bus and I had a mission! The mission was to get my prescription, pick up a fruit tray, rent Interstellar Movie from Redbox and pick up a pizza from Pizza Hut. The trick was that I had 1 hour and 15 minutes to do it. I ran out of the house (I'm lying. I didn't even walk fast.) and hopped the bus. I got to the Dan Ryan Expressway at 10 pm. I decided to jump route 75 (Lakefront) at the terminal. That took me straight to Walgreens on 75th and State.
As I got to the door, a group of kids decided that they need both doors to exit. Fuck you kids! I was here first! I dropped shoulder and almost took out two of them. Fuck you, again! I went straight to the back. I overtook a lady with an humidifier she was about to purchase. Fuck you, lady! You are too slow! I made it to the counter about 7 steps ahead or her. HA!! No line! Then the lady behind the counter gave me the meds and told me my cost. Wait. What? That's about 3 times what it should be. Oh, I see. I don't need those meds. I need that damned patch! I have to wait 20 minutes? Fuck you , lady! Yeah I'll wait. 6 minutes later my stuff is ready! What? You are not logged in to ring my purchase? Fuck you, dude! Yeah, I'll wait. I got my meds and I head towards the front. If the line is long I'll have to forego the fruit. 25 people in line. Fuck you, fruit! I head out and stop at the Redbox. Yes! It has Interstellar but not Horrible Bosses 2. Fuck you, Redbox! Wait. You say the other one has both? Thank you, Redbox!
I run across the street (I'm lying. I walked with a purpose.) and decided to take the 75 again. Right on time! That takes me to 79th and the Pizza Hut. I disembark but this little girl is trying to board before the passengers can get off the bus. I don't know how the get on where YOU are from , little girl, but Fuck YOU! I drop shoulder and almost knock her onto the freeway. I walk to the pIzza hut and the lady was giving me the side eye stating that she was "closed."
"I'm here to pick up my order."
"Oh, ok, because we are closed."
"Fuck you, lady! Gimme my shit!"
"That will be $15.28."
"Here you go."
"Thank you!"
"Fuck you, very much!"
I run out of the Pizza Hut at top speed (I'm lying. I ran a little bit.) because my bus was right on time! I hop the bus and sit down. All of a sudden everyone is giving me that "let me get a slice" face. I give them all the "fuck you" face and continue to ride to my stop. I get home at about 11:30 pm. Man, I need a car!
