So today was a special day for me because I had to ride the Pace bus out to Chicago Ridge Mall. For those of you that are unfamiliar with the Pace Bus, that is the system that services the suburban area. When I ride the Pace I expect all shenanigans to cease and desist whilst I ride through yonder suburbs. Generally all things are better on the Pace Bus. The drivers are nicer. The passengers are more tranquil. The women are prettier. Things in general are all around better. That being said, why did I get on the bus with a laid off greeter from Wal-Mart? This old man had to speak to every person on the bus. EVERY. PERSON. Dude! And he was calling people out trying to get conversations started.
"Hey girl! How you doin'?"
"Hey you in the black hat! Young Man!"
(me ignoring him)
"Hi, young lady! You sure look pretty today!"
"You in the black hat!"
(me ignoring him....hard!)
"Hi little kid! You out here wit' yo' mama?"
"Hello pretty lady!"
"Young Man in the black hat!!"
(pretending to nod off)
"Better not fall asleep on the bus. Dey gonna rob you!"
This old man rode all the way to the mall talking. When we got to the mall stop this guy GETS OFF AT THE SAME STOP!!
"Young man!"
(pretending I'm from Kazakhstan and English is not one of my languages.)
I can't tell you how happy I was to see the CTA on the way back.
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