Old hoes and old clothes

So I'm about to get on the bus but I stop to get some food at Wendy's ® and this guy is in the dining room trying to get his maco on with some of the employees. He starts talking about the preceding nights activities where he was playing some type of drinking game. Apparently the loser is the person with the high card and has to take as many shots as the number on the card. (He got a 10.)

Anyway after I silently congratulate him on his alcohol poisoning I leave to catch the train. This large woman was ahead of me and I was trying to pass her but she was a little too fast for me. I get to the platform and almost missed the train. The conductor took pity on me and let me board. As I'm catching my breath I notice an older lady that has what I assume was a short dress on underneath her long coat (her knees were showing and I could not even see where the dress started). Dang, Grandma! Don't you know that it's winter out here? As old as she is you would think that she would be a bit more modest. I speculate that she was a bit slutty when she was younger. What do you call an old slut? We used to call them "hoochie mamas" so would she be a "Grandhoochie?" Or maybe a "GrandT.H.O.T.?"

Anyway once I get on the bus I notice this guy is wearing some old style boots. They look like those old "Dingo" boots that O.J. Simpson endorsed back in the 70's. I didn't even know they still sold those. He was wearing Dickies and a POW jacket with his mouth covered by a mask. If I were looking to profile someone he would have been on the top of my sketchy list.

O.J.'s legacy lives on.

Those boots were not made for walkin'....

So I'm about to get on the bus this morning and I'm waiting for the 79th St bus. When the bus gets to the stop the first thing I see is a female tumbling to the front of the bus. I don't know how far she rolled but I do know she stopped at the front of the bus. I thought she might have been an older lady but when my eyes focused after she stopped rolling I saw that she was fairly young. Was she disabled? Did she have a fake leg? Did she have water in her ear from the shower? No. She was high. Specifically, she said she was "wasted." To be fair she said she was "SSOOOOOOO WWAAAAAAASSSSTEEEEEDDDDDDD!!!!" She said this over and over again. Now as entertaining as she was when she flipped her ass end over end when the bus first arrived I had to endure her putting lip gloss on as if she was tripping on acid and her tucking her pants into her boots (she had fat ankles). You would think that she would have been a bit more stable on those ankles but I think the boots were too tall for her condition.

There is no point in it

So I was riding the bus on my way home and I'm talking on the phone to my good buddy DJ Greedy Brisco. We were shooting the shit and this guy enters the car from the preceding car and begins to berate all women in general saying that all women are bitches very loudly. I interrupted him and said that I was on the phone and told him how loud he was. He looked at me as if he was going to get belligerent but then calmed down and spoke a bit softer. Now, let me explain the situation here in Chicago. At some point in our storied past someone decided to close the Mental Health facilities to save money and put all of the mentally challenged people on the streets. They may have given them all bus passes because it seems as though they all ended up on the public transportation system. This guy looked as though he was one of those individuals. When he started up again he pointed at this lady and said that she was a bitch. At that point a young lady sitting across from her asked who he was talking to because that lady was her mother. He said he wasn't talking about the lady and that he was pointing past her. She said that he pointed at her mother and said he better not be referring to hr mother. At that point he stated that it was "his mothrefucking finger and he can point it where he pleases." I don't remember that being in the Bill of Rights.