That's snot funny

So I was riding the bus and I missed the shuttle by about 10 seconds. That was OK because I was an hour early. What I didn't like is that same bus almost ran me over when I got to the terminal. I think the bus driver didn't like the look of my face.

Anyway, on my way back I decide to go to work and I took the train. I had just left Dialysis so I wasn't up to climbing the stairs. I took the elevator instead. My question is: Why must people use the elevator as an emergency restroom? Standing in a puddle of pee is not my idea of a good day. Once I got to the platform I notice this guy with a Summer cold. Poor guy. He was using that tissue to clean what appeared to be his frontal lobe then he threw the tissue on the tracks. How rude! The trash can was not even 10 feet away! Imagine standing under the train tracks and a wad of snot paper hits you on top of your head. I'd be pissed! He must have noticed me giving him the stink eye because he threw the next piece in the trash.

So I get on the bus and I see a wash cloth on the floor. WTH?! What was being washed with that cloth? I was afraid to touch it for fear of ball sweat or coochie condensation. Ew.

On the trip home I see this guy on he starts to snap. When I say "snap" i don't mean like "go off" or anything. I mean snap like he was in the Sharks or the Jets and someone was about to rumble. Honestly I thought he was going to bust out singing "For The Longest Time" like he was at a Billy Joel revival. (I would have joined in if he did.)

I didn't know Toni took public transit

So I was riding the bus back from the West Side and this guy gets on dressed in a Canary Yellow outfit. Now don't get me wrong, it was a normal outfit for Chicago other than the color. What I really want to know is where do you find Canary Yellow plaid shorts? Is there a special Men's store?

Anyway, dude gets on the bus and I notice that he is talking to himself and saying general stuff. I didn't trip on it because I talk to myself sometimes. What got me was when he started quoting Toni Braxton songs. Did this dude just say "Seven whole days?"

Just to be "fare"

So I was riding the bus today and these two "young ladies" boarded with their children in strollers. One payed a dollar and went to sit and the bus driver told her it was $1.75. She stated that all she had was a dollar and proceeded to sit. The driver told her that the bus was not moving until she paid her full fare or get off the bus. She told him that he "was trippin' " and to pull off. An older lady jumped in and said that she was holding everybody up and she needed to pay her fare like everyone else on the bus. As the "young lady" started to cuss both her and the bus driver, a one-eyed man jumped in to tell her she was wrong and she needed to pay. The girl started to do generic gang gestures and making general threats of what would happen to whomever touched her. Personally, I don't know what dude did or what happened to him that he ended up with one eye but I wouldn't want to piss off a one-eyed man on a bus.

The epidemic of crack

So I'm riding the bus and it is an uneventful ride.  It was so boring that I was ready to fall asleep until this Amazon boarded.  She seemed normal other than her height until she passed me and I witnessed what I would estimate to be approximately 6 to 8 inches of booty crack.  Now I understand that in this age of low rise jeans that women don't have many options outside of "Mom jeans" but what is the socially acceptable amount of booty crack that a woman can show without being offensive or obscene?  What if you have a "high or long" booty crack?  Personally, I like women's booty crack in crack friendly circumstances.  If it were up to me ass out jeans for women would be legal (as long as your ass is hair free).