And now, coming to the stage....

So I'm riding the bus and I am about to sit down but this guy decides he wants to check his bag just as I pass. I'm like "really, dude?" He pulls out a screwdriver and I'm like "I didn't want that seat anyway" and I proceed to mind my own business. Apparently, he had been riding with that screwdriver poking him in the side for a number of blocks and decided to relieve the pressure and place it in his bag. Whew!! I thought I was about to get stabbed!! Anyway, I end up standing in front of the rear exit and suddenly this guy reaches across the aisle, dangerously near my crotch. My Spidey-crotch sense started tingling and I instinctively moved my hips to avoid his hand. He reached for the buzzer so he could get off the bus but how was I supposed to know that? I just wanted a crotch-grab free ride. I swing around to allow him to utilize the rear doors. As I swing back, a lady hits the buzzer so that she could leave as well. So here I am, swinging back and forth on this pole, jutting my butt out of the way of bus patrons so as to not get a surprise crotch brush like I was some type of two-bit bus stripper. I'm just glad I didn't drop anything so that I didn't seem as though I had "dropped it low." Maybe I would have started a new hustle for change and bus passes. I felt so dirty.....