We are a part of the Pizza Nation

So I decide to go over to my long time friend's house to visit him and his family. I get to the place where I should be able to get a bus directly to his house and I discover to my gigantic surprise that the recent changes to the red line totally JACKED this bus route up. That's ok because I like a challenge. So I'm riding and this dude gets on the bus. Did this dude just Pop lock check me? I think I've just been challenged to a Janet Jackson "Rhythm Nation" dance off! WHAT?!?!?!!? Dude is lucky I didn't have my dancing shoes on.

What?!?!

Anyway when I decide to leave I'm standing at the bus shelter and the Right Tackle for the Chicago Hefty Hoes is standing uncomfortably close in front of me. She is complaining on the phone about how it's raining and she didn't bring her umbrella. She keeps bumping up against the shelter glass and I'm worried that we are both going to crash through. Once we get on the bus it seems that everyone on the East side is riding the same bus. I finally get a seat and I'm sitting next to this woman who has her child on her lap. She is trying to adjust so that the child can continue sleeping which makes ME have to adjust. Dang, lady. I'm already one 1 1/2 buttchecks here, my nutsack is getting pinched something awful and this bus driver is stopping at EVERY FRIGGIN' STOP.

Pizza Hut on the bus

After my Dialysis treatment I go back to my buddy's house. I decide to get a pizza for us and I stop to pick it up. I looked like a broke ass delivery driver that couldn't afford a vehicle. Getting on a bus with two pizza boxes gets a lot of unwanted attention. I got dirty looks from a guy with a cane, a wannabe thug who looked really hungry and a big chick that was on the cute side but I don't think I could have afforded feeding her long term. So I'm trying to figure out how to get to my destination and I finally decide to take an alternate route. As it turns out this is the bus I should have been taking all along. Oh and I almost got mugged by a pair of Filipino women who happened to like pizza.