Movie night for the bus rider

So it started out as a wonderful day.  The only thing I saw that was strange to me was this dude that was wearing the skinniest of skinny jeans.  These jeans were so skinny that I don't think they existed in this dimension.  There could not have been any legs in them.  I still don't know how he got his feet through the ankle holes.  I think he detached them and put his legs into the jeans and reattached them afterwards.

So I'm coming home from the movies ("The Internship" is a fun movie for Family and Friends alike!) and I'm going to take the Green Line.  As I get close I notice I just missed a Green Line train so I decide on the Red Line instead.  Before I could make my way down the stairs I feel the "I just missed my train" wind in my face coming from the tunnel.  Green Line it is.  So I get to the Green Line and I wait.  And wait.  And wait.  It must have been all of 10 minutes.  I notice a guy all decked out in an "Army Strong" jacket and matching hat.  I give him the "I served too" nod but he gives me the "The is my nephew's jacket and I'm wearing it because it matched and my shit was dirty" glance.  Oh, well.  Thanks for the support anyway.

So when the train finally comes I get on with no issues whatsoever.  Hmmm.  Is this going to be the pleasant ride I was promised in the brochures?  We'll see.  Anyway I get to the shuttle terminal and there is exactly one bus there.  Where the hell is MY bus?  "Oh that stopped running at 1am."  It's like 1:05.  Ok what am I supposed to do?  "Well THIS bus makes all the shuttle stops."  The guy in front of me asks the bus driver if this is true.  The bus driver is like "I go non-stop to 95th."  As the complete shit is about to hit the fan she realizes she is the overnight person and corrects herself and answers in the positive.  Lady, you don't know how many bitches and hoes you were about to be just then.  Anyway, we all board.

So we are going the night route and this guy is at the back door trying to get off what seems to be EVERY stop.  The bus driver finally gets tired of the buzzing from the alarm and the fact that the guy didn't hear her say that the next stop was 79th (because he was on the phone) and tries to let him off.  He doesn't notice that the bus has stopped and just stands there like so much idiot in a pile of idiot.  She starts driving again and finally gets to 79th.  As we all get off this one guy decides to tell me HIS horrible train story about some guy who decided to spit everything he could get into his mouth onto another guy and insists on giving me a fist bump every time he makes a point.  Dude.  I don't know where your fist has been.  Keep that shit to yourself.  He follows me to the bus stop and continues with the story all the way up to the bus then abruptly walks away.  I guess he is going to write about me in his blog...or go drink some more.