Accordions and fries

So I was riding the train back from Dialysis and it was raining so various people had umbrellas. However upon exiting the train on 79th I was nearly skewered twice by people not watching where they were going. It was like I was a stuntman on the set of "A Knight's Tale." It's was almost a gauntlet trying to get to the bus. Then once I got off the escalator I see not one but two busses. Oh, crap. I'm going to have to run again. I was praying that the driver saw us (a young lady was running beside me) and a car driver saw that we were trying to catch the bus and took pity on us. Once we got across the street it was a different story. The first bus was stuck while a rider was trying to fix his tote that toppled in the door(he had a couple of totes that he probably used to sell stuff).The bus in the rear was blocked by the first bus and the ass of the bus was nearly in oncoming traffic. We must have sat for 10 minutes before the driver decided to take a risk and BACK UP on the 79th and the Dan Ryan expressway overpass. Wait, what? This is an extended bus! It's what we affectionately refer to as an accordion bus. All I could think of was how hurt I was about to be when this sucker jackknifes and a semi rips the back end of the bus off as it plows into us. Of course that didn't happen but it sounded dramatic, didn't it?

Anyway once we were on our way I felt as though the person behind me was staring at my fries. I had stopped at Checker's (Rally's to you West Coast people) and got a few sandwiches and a an order of fries. You know how you feel as though someone's eyes are burning into the back of your head? Add that to a side order of fries. Dude! No you can't have any of my fries. I don't know where your hands have been! Then a guy gets on the bus and I forget all about the guy behind me. This dude is carrying a 26" flat screen TV newly purchased from Walmart. You could see where the box was starting to get soaked from the rain. Who does that? Clearly this man has NO friends because no one in their right mind walks around with new electronics in the rain if the can help it. He should have called a cab but I had the feeling he spent his last on the TV and the minor stuff in the other bag. I hope he lets it dry out before he plugs it in.

Anyway a lady got on the bus. From where I sat she looked to be around 30-ish and attractive. Well, let's just say my vision has been off a bit lately because as she came closer she seemed to age to 50-ish and looked like a crackhead. Well just to be fair I don't want to assume she was a crackhead but she was crackhead adjacent. NOw I see how guys end up with ugly chicks they take home from the bar.