Escape from Chicago

So I know it's been awhile since I wrote about the bus but I feel that I must address what I witnessed the other day. I'm at 79th and the Dan Ryan Expressway waiting on the bus. I like this time of year, not because I like the cold (I hate it) but because it gets so cold that the wanna-be thug hot boys pull it their pants during this time of year. Or so I thought. This day I was accosted with this apparently Bears fan's asscheeks as he bends over REPEATEDLY to attend to his left shoe. I don't know if his shoe was untied, unkempt or just had a smudge on it but(t) he felt the need to continuously bend over and fix it. This is when I realized this guy was wearing tight, leather pants. Tight. Leather. Pants. Even the late, great Rick James would have thought these pants to be tight. At that point I reasoned that maybe he wasn't one of those guys that couldn't keep his pants on his ass for fashions sake but rather that he had to leave from where ever he was at the time and he grabbed the closest available pair he could find so that he may escape. They were simply too tight to pull up over his ass and he had to make his way home. Yeah, that's what I will keep telling myself.