Newports and he was born this route

So I was riding the bus the other day and I was loaded down with shirts because I was going to sell them at a party later that day. I'm like a pack mule with all this crap but since there was money to make I was trying to endure. I was so wrapped up in my mission that I almost missed what happened next. This guy gets on the bus and starts saying "loose squares" under his breath. Now this is nothing new because I see this all the time. What was crazy was this father with his kid wrapped up like a burrito. I was so moved by this that I wanted to give him money to get a stroller for the kid. This was until he bought two of those "loose squares" from the loose guy. REALLY? I was about to hand this guy one of those "World's Greatest Dad" trophies for toughing it out with his kid but I know he would have spent any money I gave him on some Newports. The crazy thing is once the cigarette guy saw a little money come his way then he started to announce that he also had weed for sale. Wow. Here's my thing. If you are using the CTA to sell your loose squares and weed shouldn't you make more than the cost of a monthly bus pass? The profit margin of cigarettes is like 2 bucks a pack and these dudes sell more cigarettes than weed. I don't know where that guy went to school for his Weed Man Associates Degree but they need to update the curriculum. 

Anyway, after work I was on my way to a party. Now, Mind you, I was loaded down with a giant duffle bag, a backpack and a table and a chair, both in bags. I sat towards the front so i could put the big bag on the wheel well. These two "gentlemen of alternate lifestyles" got on the bus. One was what we used to call an "old queen" and he sat next to me. How did I know, you ask? I don't know. It might have been the mid length plush fur coat, the very decorative headscarf or the effeminate hand gestures. I didn't mind that but he had one of those travel suitcases with the handle and wheels and he was tired of dragging that thing around (no pun intended) so he left it in the middle of the aisle. A lady that got on after him looked at him like "are you going to move that?" and he responded with a look that said "lift your legs like you did for that man and climb over it, bitch!" That look cinched my hunch. He looked around and saw MY look of disapproval and was about to treat my life away until he saw how many bags I had and that I was able to keep them out of the way. I dodged a bullet on that one. Have you ever gotten into a battle of words with a Gay man? You can never win THAT one.