Tough Guy Blues

So I was trying to catch the bus this morning and it seemed that I was always just 30 seconds too late. What is 30 seconds to you? Well, to me it's the difference between getting someplace on time and getting there an hour late.

Let me frame this for you:
(Me walking) ***walk walk walk*** ***walk walk walk*** ***VROOOOOMM*** SHIT!!


(Me walking to my back up route) ***walk walk walk*** ***walk walk walk*** ***VROOOOOMM*** DAMMIT!!

(Me crossing the street to my alternate back up) ***walk*** ***bus pulls up*** "I'm only going to 74th." ASSHOLE!

When a bus pulls up that I can board I walk into THIS fiasco:

"Man, get on the bus!"

"I'm trying to make sure shit's not going down over there!"

"Whatever, man. Just get on the bus so I can pull off."

"Man, FUCK you! I'm trying to make sure I don't get shot!"

"You won't get shot if you get on the damn bus!!"

"Man shut up and drive the bus you pussy!"

"Watch your mouth, dude! This ain't what you want!"

"Man, FUCK YOU, you cocksucking bitch! I'm a gangster! You ain't done SHIT! THIS ain't what you want here!! I'm a FELON!! YOU drive a bus!! THAT'S how I know you ain't shit! I can't get no job with the city!"

"Man, this is MY area! You ain't shit! You don't know me, dude!"

"Fuck you, bitch! Call up your guys! We can go right here! Pull over and we can handle this! I got KILLERS on speed dial!!"

"Man, you don't know me, dude! This is not what you think!"

"Fuck you, you cocksucker! I'm a felon! You wouldn't last a day in the County! What do you know about Division 9! Not a damn thing!!'

Now, mind you, the bus drivers is steady driving while he is arguing and this guy is walking back and forth. Red Line the guy talking all that shit gets off and blends in to the crowd and I could have sworn that the bus driver wished him a nice day. I'm just glad I was going to my treatment so I could get rid of all that extra Testosterone I absorbed on the way.

So, as I am standing on the platform, this guy comes up and stand next to me. I notice that he keeps looking back at me. Every time I look up he seems to be closer than he was a moment ago. Dude. I look up and this guy is stand so friggin' close to me. At the last moment he leans over and asks how much my oils cost. You had to work yourself up that much just to ask that question? I tell him the answer and he steps off because the amount was higher than he wanted to spend. Man, I'm glad that's all he wanted.